Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize