Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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