It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
