Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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