Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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