This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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