is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
