i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm too high and old for this...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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