Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
