Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
