That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You ruined the universe
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