she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
