He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
