a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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