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I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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