apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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