I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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