Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
