I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
