He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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