Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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