Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
