ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
