I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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