Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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