Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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