i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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