can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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