She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
