real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
