sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
