there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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