nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
