why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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