Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
