Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
