i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
