Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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