I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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