I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
