I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
