I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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