Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
3pm strippers are depressing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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