my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
