Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
