youre lurking in front of me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
