She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
