guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
