sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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