Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
