just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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