We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
