Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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