I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
