I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
