Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
