jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
