my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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