I CAN MOONWALK!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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