Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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