I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
