i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize