We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
