i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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